RAEWYN Scott and her husband can still remember the day adopted daughter Sasha came home to live with them.
“She was two and a half. It was a lovely experience. A big learning curve, and a major change because it had just been the two of us for so long. But it was so wonderful,” she said.
After six years of unsuccessful IVF treatment the Scotts had spent several more years on a long waiting list for international adoptions.
“We had just assumed that we couldn’t adopt a child from Australia. But then I answered an ad to be a carer for special needs children at Barnardos and found out about their permanent care program,” Mrs Scott said.
Unlike the waiting list for international adoption agencies, the application for adoption in Australia took the Scotts just several weeks. In addition, they were expected to attend a series of workshops, training days and interviews.
Mrs Scott said the application process took them approximately six weeks. Sasha was placed with the couple within eight weeks and the adoption was finalised three years later. This is an unusually quick turnaround for adoptions, according to Barnardos the entire process takes an average of 5.9 years.
With 40,000 children between the ages of 0 and 17 requiring out of home care in Australia last year, for the first time since 1998-99 more Australian children were adopted than children from overseas. The 70 adoptions by carers represented a 10 year high for this type of adoption – more than double the 29 adoptions in 2002-03. Barnardos finalised 25 adoptions in 2012.
The Scotts said they met with a case worker and discussed everything from their financial arrangements to their contact with other families and the type of care and support networks available.
They were also expected to adhere to the Barnardos adoption policy that stipulates that one parent remain at home for the first year of the child’s transition into their lives.
“I stayed at home and was lucky enough in recent years to start working here for my husband’s business and I just fit it in when I can,” Mrs Scott said.
Mrs Scott admits to being apprehensive at first about the open adoption policy that stipulates the adoptive family must continue to facilitate a regular communication link with their adopted child’s natural birth parents.
“I went into that part with a bit of a closed mind. We didn’t know anything about Sasha’s natural parents at the time and I was worried. But once I opened my mind up and met them I now have a lot of empathy for them as people. And I cannot comprehend how it must feel to be them and not be able to raise your child, “she said.
Elizabeth Cox, senior manager for the adoption and permanent care program at Barnardos said while the open adoption policy has been in place since 1985, it’s a common point of contention for people considering the adoption process.
“It can be confronting for people, but we absolutely insist on it. We’ve learn't from mistakes of past public practises,” she said.
The type of contact with families of origin can range from sharing photographs to weekly visits and according to Ms Cox mostly depends on the wishes of all the families involved.
“Our training sessions for adoptive parents really focus on practical ways to engage these parties together and help the adoptive family to plan the frequency of contact and where and how it will take place,” she said.
Simon Duffy told news.com.au that open and honest communication has made all the difference to their experience. He and partner Wally, adopted their son, Cory when he was two years old. Now nine, Mr Duffy said his son is proud of their large and dynamic family life.
“He loves telling people that he has three dads, one mum and six grandparents. For him it is normal part of life,” said Mr Duffy.
This policy of open communication has also extended to the way Mr Duffy and his partner have explained the adoption process to Cory.
“We’ve always talked about that, right from the start. He knows that his parents were not able to look after him. When he gets older and starts to ask more questions, then we’ll have answers for him about that too. There have never been any secrets and he doesn’t have to make up stories because he knows what has happened,” he said.
Mr Duffy credits the couple’s extended family and the network of case workers and staff from Barnardos for the incredible support network that has buoyed their experience as parents.
“Having Cory in our lives has cemented our relationship and our commitment to each other. One of the best days of our life was the day we went to court and he was given my surname, Duffy. We also talk about it now as his ‘naming day’,” he said.
Mrs Scott agrees.
“We are a real family now. Before Sasha, our lives were different but now life revolves around our family. It’s not something you can ever prepare for but it’s fantastic. I will tell any couple considering it just to go for it,” she said.
To find out more about adoption visit the Barnardos website www.barnardos.org.au or call 1800 663 441
No comments:
Post a Comment